The Deacon

By Deacon Kevin Conneely

I was sharply reminded, during a recent golf game, of those words spoken at ordination by the bishop as I knelt before him with the Book of the Gospels: “…and practice what you teach.”

The outing was a fundraiser for a nearby Catholic high school. I was paired with three golfers who I had never met, including a married couple. I am pretty sure they had never golfed with any clergy before. We were having a great round, and we were playing well. Several times on the front nine, however, the husband let fly after his wayward shot with a few choice words – mad at the ball, mad at the course, mad at himself. From their cart, I heard his wife chide him, “Not in front of the deacon!” Then, a few holes later, it was my turn. I narrowly missed a putt for our team and blurted out a loud, “%#!$” The husband seemed relieved, as though swearing was now permitted on the back nine. I apologized to everyone and told one of my favorite jokes. “Do you know why they call this game Golf?”

“Because all the other four-letter words are already taken!”

Whether we deacons are wearing our vestments, a Roman collar shirt, a Deacon’s Cross pin, or a golf shirt with our parish or Catholic school emblem, we have to “practice what we teach.” After playing a lot of competitive golf in my life and working in a high-stress, litigation-centered law firm, I have heard – and have regrettably used – most of the dirty words that George Carlin told us about decades ago. And it seems that if we want to watch anything other than network TV, the profanity comes at our ears so fast and so frequently, it becomes numbing. Our environment and our past bad habits are no excuse, however, for resorting to swearing, profanity, or cursing. Each is forbidden in the Bible. Each is a sin. And each defiles us and diminishes our relationship with the Lord. Let’s refresh our understanding and attune our ears to each.

Swearing: The Second Commandment forbids “swearing false oaths.” What we sometimes call “swear words” are not really swearing in the Old Testament sense. And in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus perfects that teaching regarding swearing oaths:

“But I say to you, do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.” (Matthew 5:34-36)

We are also forbidden from calling on God to be our witness to our own lies. (CCC 2151) That is the essence of perjury in the courtroom. The Catechism puts it this way: “The holiness of the divine name demands that we neither use it for trivial matters, nor take an oath which…could be interpreted as an approval of an authority unjustly requiring it (emphasis added).” (CCC 2155) For example, missing a putt is, indeed, such a “trivial matter.” The search for pars or birdies on a score card in no way justifies taking God’s name in vain! Jesus teaches us to let our “Yes” mean “Yes” and our “No” mean “No.” (Matthew 5:37) Nothing more is required and anything more risks swearing to make false oaths.

Profanity: From Proverbs, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.” (Proverbs 8:13) Jesus reinforced God’s command to love Him, not the things of the earth. “[It is] not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” (Matthew 15:11) If you discretely survey the list of most-used “dirty” words, each in one way or another defiles and demeans the Biblical teachings that: (i) all humans are created in the image and likeness of God; (ii) male and female he created them; and (iii) our human bodies are to be treated and honored as “temples of the Holy Spirit.” No matter which of the “dirty” words one hears (or utters), they all reduce to: scandalous sexual innuendo, or remarks about private bodily functions, or descriptions of conduct contrary to nature and to the intimacy reserved for marriage. That is why we call this type of language profane. It misuses or disrespects sacred things, treating them as ordinary or common to use, especially when we degrade ourselves and others in the expression of frustration or anger.

Cursing: Different from both “swearing” and “profanity,” this sin is defined as “call[ing] down evil upon God or creatures, rational or irrational, living or dead.” (Catholic Encyclopedia (online version)). In our anger, we curse (some say “cuss”) the wind that blew our shot off course, the water or sand hazard that swallowed up our ball, and – most often – ourselves for being the way God made us: fallible, human, always falling short of perfection. Cursing does not depend on the words used but the “calling down evil” result that we are intending. Cursing is the opposite of caritas, of love. Cursing is to lose our sense of respect for God, others, and nature. There are degrees of severity, but all curses begin with “calling down evil.” We might express frustration with some small daily annoyance by uttering, “Dang it!” Worse, we might escalate some heated exchange by thinking or saying, “Just go to Hell!” Or we may go for the trifecta: mixing in some false swearing and profanity to make a thunderbolt of our curse! No matter how benign or serious, cursing God or God’s creation is sinful, and never loving.

Old habits die hard. I have not likely uttered my last profane word on a golf course, or in some home repair project, or stuck in traffic and late for the next obligation. But, just as with a problem with my grip, stance, or golf swing, a friendly tip or reminder comes in handy every once in a while. And regularly confessing these sins of the tongue is necessary to the success of our “practice what you teach” mandate.

The cathedral where I was ordained to serve is dedicated to Saint Paul. That holy saint had a lot to say against swearing, profanity, and cursing. For example, in his letter to the Colossians, he urged, “But now put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and foul talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8). And, writing to the Ephesians (and today to we deacons who are to practice what we teach), he said, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I need to remember on the course to protect myself and others by only ever yelling one four-lettered word: “FORE!” To follow Christ and live out diaconal service to others every day, may we not defile our mouths. May our four-lettered word be “LOVE!” TD

Photo Credit: iStockphoto.com/Kasipat